Self Know

i always think i very clear to myself
in emotionly and also in the way i settle my stuff
but nowadays i realize i am very easy to be moved
whenever i get ignored, rejected, scolded..etc..i know i wil have a bad and strong feeling
trying to ram my cool and steady mind...
i always tried to put it down..stay focus ..but not for long..
when ever i am alone..i tend to do something that usually cannot be seen by others..

especially these few days, when tension and stress join forces..there is no where i can hide...
i found my new self..i am a guy but i cannot be hurt in or out..easily moved and easily boom to a sense that even i feel disgusted of myself...

i feel disapointed of myself...i always look up high of how i am ...but after so long..i realize that i have to add another point to my list of failureness..even though i am clear of wat i am ..i do not find it something great.. i find my weakness more and more ..day by day ..and worth of myself..getiing deem and deem...

wat i am now?losing the self control of myself? losing my mind?losing my thought.? am i that weak ? do i need help? i really dunno..i wish to be stronger but i am not..all of it is just merely a wish..a hope ...i need support ...but i do not know how.....

please..give me strength........