It doesnt mean ANYTHING

wat it mean scenario 1
Out of sudden, someone CRASH, BANG, SLAM the door ..and that totally shocked me.. before i am able to get myself back.. 1 after another repeat the action of the first ..CRASH, BANG, SLAM ,CRASH,BANG ,SLAM ......

someone ordered me to do something, another called me to something, and lastly there is someone scolded me for not doing ANYTHING... sweat !

where is the manners they learn?..why is the politely request for help turn into anger order?.. who ever teach them the way to speak thIs way? how it turn out like this? and the most important ...WAT is all the MEANING of telling me stuff like manners, polite, humble, tolerance WHEN u obviously not being an ideal one to me....double sweat!

----ever wonder wat i do in physical with all those mental thInking bout stuff liek that?----
* i quietly did all their request =.= * (yes..i am cheap)

wat it mean scenario 2

u feel bad then u feel it couldnt be tolerate no more..u request a promise.. after some debate..u success and promise is made by the second party...

after a day..(nope ..it dun even last more than 24 hours).. second party come to u , told u wat happen , he/she feel the consequences and HAVE nvr say sorry even though he/she obviously know they broke the promise..

u feel frustrated, u feel forgiving her..u cant.. and then u voice out..telling Him/her .. " wat about our promise?"..she stare at u ..the face expression ..sometime cheeky, sometime give u the "OH NO" face.. some just smile ..and said "i forget :P"...usually is that often..but some cases might be "i am force to" "i dun mean it" "no next time"..but i guess.. "i forget" usually is sucks the most...

after many consequences..and thought and stuff..promise is make not just for sake of u wan make promise..at least thats wat i tHink..

yeah yeah right~~ u forget..so wat u expect me to say ? "nvm, remember next time " and repeat again the next time u said u forget?

so wat is promise? wat is the meaning of it? nothing..not even the existent of it.. terrible...


* i been so used to thIs 2 incident that i can get a PHD in thIs..humans!! get a life..get urself!! dun be an uncivilise..when we are obviously are~~~

---wonderful..really do make my day =.= ---

GG.com... sayonara..

Desire

Recently there have been many thought jamming through my head..

i been wonder wat i have been archieving all this while...

i thought i did good..but onli when i leave my pathetic circle..i found out

actually everyone is doing so much better than me..

in term of handling themself.. i am still so far behind them..i feel like a kid again...

being pamper.. being spoon feed..being naive.. day by day..i become humble ..

do not wan to social..do not wan to care.. do not wan to let ppl know my thought..

fear of being laugh..being pointed to..being look down ..being a gossip target...

i always thought my live is as normal as others.. i deserve nothing more and i do not wan to complicated it...

but i am wrong..i do have a passion and desire inside me.. going to burn out ...

but i do not know where to start..how to do it..who to talk to ..

it does make my emotion and physically stress with all these tHinking..

i had a wrong thought of myself..i do not understand wat is my need and my likes..

i been drown into caring wat others tHink of me..and being a 3rd party ideally person...

i shud stand up.. being wat i am ..being who i am ...

i no longer want to live in a shadow ... not living under someone..but being someone... not fearing the dark..but be the dark... not being feed by the sun..but be the one that feed others...

good luck ..may the god bless me... i will now spread my wing...start my dream

~wing of desire~