Free Fly~~

its 4am..

and i just finish my uni's stuff...

its so hectic

feel so prison like..i cant free myself off..

when i got this feeling

i think of wat u asked me always or tell me sometimes...



yes, i will honestly answer u that i am a free bird..

i couldnt be stop, couldnt be tied down..

i am not born like this..is just the feeling of unable to feel myself

already made me become wat i am now..

i fear of the feeling of being someone burden, or responsible for someone..

even u dun ask for it, i will still generate it by myself... i am that nature

and i couldnt explain why..and soon i will lose myself...resulting losing u...



so i choose to be wat i am now.. to be the wild ..to be free.. to be living a world of my own..

i am sorry of being so harsh to told u straight.. but ..being honest to u ..

is the onli best thing i could do to anyone that wanted me to change...



leave me... i am JUST this way....



weeeeee...........

Frozen Heart After a Winter Sleep

i tried my best to become someone for u ,
i tried to be by ur side when u need a shoulder,
i tried to care u with all my heart,
i tried to keep u awake from nightmare,
i tried to be ur air when u are suffocated,
i tried to put u one with my heart...

______________________________________________________________________

It keeps coming back to me


I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull

Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue

Can you hear me out there?

* Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me

I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes

But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear

Anyone out there hear me now?

Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Kiss my lips and maybe you can take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will

_________________________________________________________________________

if u choose to live in ur own, u will nvr become wat u dream of
if u choose to live in ur own, u will nvr be happy of ur future
if u choose to live in ur own, its hard for me to live within u ..~~
my heart will eventually froze..

take care...

cant u feel my heart is frozen and live just for u ?
for once,
will u hold me? hold my frozen heart...
just hold it.....

Geezzzz

i feel so shitty now..
why am i expecting too much..
why am i asking so much in return..

i do not like the feeling of being used
it totally show a disgrace over myself
i just wan to do my best for the one i care
for the one i love, for ppl i acknowledge
but at the end i know i am just another tool for them to climb

wat is the worth of me now?
wat shall be fix in order to make myself chill right now?
i am going to kaboom at any time soon
thing happen to often that i no longer able to stand it..
wat is fren? wat is love? how many thing is some fren can actually hide behind u
in order to use u, use ur care toward them ...

haih...
no good no good.. thing nvr seem to be changing..
this matter is so common i can bring out 10-100 of stories that happen to me
but well, i am able to see who is real and who is fake though
i wont lose hope ,i wont lose faith..
i believe there is love,there is care in human being..
search it out ...and nvr give up on myself...

**life have to go on!!...so make it a greater one :) **

Hello

just wan to drop by some words here..

tonight feeling was awesome...

recently have been so busy towards surrounding,
assignment, gathering, hand out, party!~

i do not have a time for myself...

exam is near and everyone is turning 21..

feel so happy for them yet very struggle for myself to please them..

tonight..after very much hectic weekdays and pass weekend

i can sit down and drink my cup of soya bean and blog about how relax i am now

(eventhough i was suppose to go meet up somebody, but i cancel it due to some reason :P )

i finally get the feeling back where u really wan so much time for urself ...

it feeeeellss real good.. family not at home, i am watching all the tv i wan..

assignment is on schedule, and i can eat my supper quietly and not outside food(self cook :D )

i wonder will the life of after graduate be the same?

i am going to do my 12 weeks intern soon..i might not able to be with my family
because places i wan to go is either in johor or penang..

my feeling right now is it the beginning of the life of working?

handling stress skill is something i am confident of..
but the fear to step to another stages of life where u will be independent in terms of financial ,mentally and also ur life ...

i suddenly fear, fear of it..fear of losing time ..fear of losing ppl that i really wan to be with now..

worry u cant grab them even u wanted to...

intern..it sound exciting to me at the very first thought...but day by day..it doesnt sound so fun..its like a beginning to the end of the stages i am in now...

is that how it suppose to be? i guess i have no other choice, as a man, as a adult..its a job to responsible not to surrounding but u urself, i am not saying i dun responsible for family ,its a bonus to able to do so..but i really need to learn to settle myself b4 i include my family in or life partner...

everyone~ give me strenght , and hope thing will onli get better and not worst...

good luck to me :D

beware "punk interns"