today i had gone up one more lesson,
Last night,i had a great night and Today, I also had a great morning...

Life is really really isnt easy, i could actually tell myself that i been through a lot of thing...
To put it simple, i thought i am strong.. last time , i always think
Why people have to suffer in something that is so small of?
Why do they need to torture themself?
i think this way, is not because i do not have a heart for them..
It just that i been through something which is more than what they have been through
People that i am close with, been through more than just that..but i do not see them frown...

I always thought, human strength in outward or inward is depending on how his or her mind think..
As long as u be smart, be a bit not so stubborn, think the right way.. then u can endure almost every pain in the world can be given...

But i am wrong.. my own thinking and thought is really able to only useful for myself..
It couldnt apply onto someone that is completely new to this..
Thats why they are confuse, they refuse to listen.. they cant think wisely no matter how many notes and no matter how many help u gave them...

I suppose we should really do it in a hard way isnt it?
Letting someone that is in need to learn their own way, create their own thought... train themself..
it is how they become immune to thing that they are worrying and fear of now...
I realize the best thing for being with someone is just being with them patiencely ...
Not expecting them to be strong as u are.. just let them pass through pain that will soon recovered..
It heartache.. so its understandable when someone u love break down in front of u ...
u cant manage to handle the pain .. so u will do anything that is not needed in order to make them feel better.. but unconsiously , only to realize you made thing goes worst...

I believe everyone capability in handling stuff might not be that good ..some is really strong.. some is really bad at it..
But all this is produced with their background, whether are they educated properly or who they are going on with ...frens,relatives and even strangers..

I personally ,honestly can say that i come from the worst background in society..
People that knew me well.. know that i dont really expose where and what i am from...
And also educated? i am not saying educating in term of school..its wat how surrounding educate you... If u ask me who is my own teacher, i will say is me...myself.. Yes, i am born without being teach how to see things in a better way.. in a better view..that explain why i wasnt that bright when i was little.. i hAd the most terrible childhood.. i onli see darkness through it..
so i really do understand wat is the difference between darkness and light.. wat is deeper and wat is brighter...

Frens and other people that surrounding me had teach me very well ( but not during my dark ages) ... i am glad to have surrounding people escorting me with how they treat me...including betrayal and take me for granted..

All the feeling had make me numb .. all the stuff that happen have sometimes made me lose myself.. i am not frown and i am not sad of it..because i still knew its not really that wise to be sad or frown for it.. But its only make me become not as good and fine as last time.. so picking up myself is what i should really be doing now...

Qi Xiang today told me how to pick myself by giving me a way.. TRY and ERROR...
in many things, try a method u had and applying on different subject...
All the subject will give a different result..when a method is useful..it became ur method
and that is how u pick up urself.. with all the good thing u did and also for yourself..
When u know something is urs , something u own and only u own it.. that complete yourself..
everything about you is so extraordinary...

He also told me something that is so simple... but maybe when someone live too long.. simple isnt an option for them i guess..due to many factors like being cautios or fear...
Life seriously, no one mention and will think is easy..unless u are a retard (being retard is good huh?)
since life is not easy,why not make the best out of it.. smile through hardship .. shout through silence.. fight through weak... and ENJOY YOUR LIFE!

ENJOY YOUR LIFE! this sentence suddenly hammered to my brain so much that it still sound real hard in me... i wish who ever that is not feeling well, giving up hope, clinging on, enduring and carrying on with their life.. remember, all we have to do ... is just ENJOY YOUR LIFE~